Posts Tagged ‘Karen Sanders’
Life Behind Bars
There are so many people walking around that are living behind their own private bars – bars no one else can see but them. Pain, fear, humiliation, anger, and shame, these are the bars a victim looks through every day. It is so easy to feel sorry for the people behind bars because you can see their physical bars, but no one sees the emotional ones that a victim faces every morning. You get up, comb your hair, brush your teeth, put on a smile, and the whole time you’re dying inside. For years that was my life. Sometimes I wondered why I existed, but somewhere deep inside me I knew God had a plan for me. It may be something as simple as me telling someone they can be free one bar at a time, then so be it! I’ll help you help me and together we can pull down the bars of pain, fear, anger, shame and finally be free.
Posted by Karen
The Parole Board Hearing
Speaking at Vincent’s parole hearing was a very emotional time for me. I had never been to a parole hearing before. I had no idea what to expect or what would be expected of me. We pulled in to Angola, this massive and very intimidating prison only to learn that a film crew would be filming the parole hearing for a documentary. The only thing that could be worse at this point would be Vincent getting paroled. When it was time for the hearing they brought us into a small room, four men sat behind a long table in front of me, and the film crew to my left. I fought for my composer, my legs shaking, fighting back the tears I made my why to the chair and sat in front of the board members. I finally found the courage to speak. It was very intimidating having a film crew you didn’t expect, and four men who would decide you fate. To say the least we left there physically and emotionally drained.
Posted by Karen
Raped Beyond a Shadow of Doubt
Raped beyond a Shadow of Doubt was inspired by the films THE FARM and SHADOWS OF DOUBT. Most people that watched the films had already made their minds up, innocent or guilty, but there were those who still had questions. I felt like it was up to me to answer them in the only way I knew how. That was to put it in black and white, but more than the films I wanted to give hope to someone who was struggling with finding peace and hope for their life. I hoped to give someone the strength to face another day.
Was it hard? Oh yeah it was hard. I had to go back and reopen all those old wounds. Some days I couldn’t put the pen down, and some days I couldn’t pick the pen up. It took me three years to write my book. I had to keep reminding myself it wasn’t just about getting my story out, it was about helping someone. I replayed him raping me over and over in my head, long after I had laid the pen down. Was it worth it? If my story helps just one hurting person, then it was worth every sleepless night I spent writing.
Raped Beyond a Shadow of a Doubt can be bought here.
Posted by Karen
No matter how far I think I’ve come…
No matter how far I think I’ve come someone can bring you right back to all those past angers. I was checking my E-mail and there was a letter from a lady who believes Vincent is innocent. I’m okay with that, she is entitled to think what she wants to. What made me angry was I felt like I needed to defend myself all over again for the thousandth time, and what would be the point, in the end she will still believe what she wants to believe. I think the thing that got to me more than the letter is I let it get to me. I let it take me back to that place of anger that I’ve worked so hard to move past, but I thought about it and realized it was okay for me to feel angry, that’s a part of life, It’s just not okay for me to stay there. Sometimes it’s good to visit all those old feelings because it reminds you how for you’ve come.
Posted by Karen
Victims – the Unheard
Victims are the voices never heard, the eyes never seen. You turn the T.V. on and every other channel is, Life behind bars. It’s no wonder victims think no one cares, but there are people who care, and do need to hear what you have to say. People need to realize not every one in prison is innocent. For every prisoner there is a victim, and it’s time for victims to stand up and be heard. It is very important for victims to realize that people in prison are people too, and we do have to forgive in order for our hearts and soul to be free and begin to heal, but that doesn’t mean we have to be silent. It’s very important that people know both sides of the issues. The world is big enough for all our voices. I have received a lot of E-mails from victims, and the one thing we all have in common is the hope of healing.
Posted by Karen