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“Ways To Cope”:

1. Take one day at a time. Do not think too far in advance. Try to get “through one more day.”
2. Plan small projects for each day, and try to reach a goal. For instance, I put all our photos in photo albums, during the first few weeks of my husband’s incarceration. When that project was complete, I started cleaning out drawers and closets.
3. Organize your life…I re-organized bills and mail, using folders and envelopes, and I kept logs, writing everything down.
4. Keep pictures of your husband around the house….I had pictures in every room. I even had one posted on the refrigerator door.
5. Join a church group. I started baking cakes for the monthly cake sale. I enjoyed doing it, and felt I was contributing something to society.
6. Get involved. Acquire hobbies. Knitting, needle-point, gardening, writing, keeping a diary….anything. Just do something, even if you force yourself to do it. As time goes on, it will get easier, and you will begin to enjoy it. I planted an “Angel Garden,” outside in the yard, with angel statues, and flowers. I also began writing poetry, stories and letters to the editor. I also began writing a journal, which became a very important part of my life.
7. Keep in close contact with your husband. Accept phone calls (if you can afford it, as prison phone calls are extremely expensive), send your husband letters, cards, magazine and newspaper clippings, and computer print-outs of things that interest him. Send him pictures (old and new)…Men in prison love to look at pictures from home. It helps them from becoming homesick. My husband has almost 100 pictures that he keeps in photo albums, and loves to share with the inmates, and show them our family and home. If I change something around in the household, or buy anything new, I’ll take a picture and send it to him, so he always feels connected to our home. I also take pictures of the pets, the garden, and the cars.
8. Keep a notebook near the phone at all times. Jot down things you want to discuss with your husband when he calls. Remember, those are 15 minute calls, and there is a lot to say in a short period of time, so get organized beforehand.
9. Cry when you have to, but also try to stay focused. Do not be torn apart by the prison system. You are still a person, and a wife…and you need to be supportive to your husband.
10. Try to stay healthy. Eat right, avoid junk food and alcohol. Exercise. Try walking. After all, you want to be physically fit when your husband comes home!

You can view the complete list in this online article.

If you’re spiritually-minded in your marriage, there’s a great website about keeping your marriage strong and healthy.  It’s called Prison Marriage Ministry, and it has advice for people with spouses in prison.  It also gives guidance to couples making the transition to life back at home together.